Meanwhile in my head, I'm undergoing open-heart surgery. - Anne Sexton.
223"Morally as well as physically, I’ve always had the sensation of an abyss, not merely the abyss of sleep, but that of action, dream, memory, desire, regret, remorse, beauty etc. I cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror. I feel though as If I am attacked by a frightful illness, which has never played such havoc with me as in this year - I mean my depression, my reveries, my discouragement, my indecision. Truly, I consider the person who succeeds in healing oneself of a vice as infinitely braver than a soldier or a man who defends his honor in a duel. But how to heal myself? How transform despair into hope, weakness into willpower? Is this illness imaginary or real? Has it become real after being imaginary?" - Charles Baudelaire, Selected Letters